Letting them go - loss of loved ones

We all face the loss of loved ones sometime in our lives. As inevitable as it is, there is one thing each individual can do to ease the pain of family loss. We can easily overlook appropriate planning of our estate for such a cessation of life in this world. For ourselves, we plan burial, funeral, trusts, and wills... all necessities. What happens to the things of our lives? Some people go to extreme detailed planning in their wills. Is that necessary or even beneficial? If you anticipate death in the next 10 years, you can do some things now to make it less painful and less work for your heirs.

Are you a packrat? My definition - one who can't let go of the past through possessions. As a child of a lost parent, you might think - keep it, I might need it or someone in the family might need want it in decades to come; the possession is something attached to my past. Keep it, we can't destroy memories! I say, oh yes, we can!  It is our duty to our family to assess what we have and plan our estate accordingly.

I confess. I have the tendency to keep things. My brother also has that tendency, but my sister holds on to practically nothing.  How about assessing family values to anything "worthy" of keeping or attaching real value to them? Then ... what to do with it? Put it under the bed? Rent a storage facility?


Shouldn't an estate sell what has real value and keep what has significant family value? That seems like the most practical thing to do, yet there remains a tendency to keep more than what is practical. Sentimental value is at least equal in importance to real dollar value.


Well then ... what to do? For one, make sure your family discusses what to keep in their possession. Estate planning without consulting the family is just an exercise in futility. Keep it flexible. Let the family make decisions after you pass, but establish what is really important to your family members in advance. A family reunion is a good place to start such a discussion. Keep your living and death wills flexible but with the essentials to pass along your valuable family heirlooms. Possessions have value in the hands of the holder and cannot be passed along successfully to future generations unless the recipients have memories in it. Otherwise, your possessions only have market value, not sentimental value. Establish sentimental value for a will, not dollar value. Establish values of artifacts of the estate in advance, but in general do not will things to individuals because of financial value. Let financial value be part of the estate value, but not a personal inheritance. Try to avoid arguments on who gets what, but at the same time, allow positive surprises among family members. Pass along things for sentimental rather than financial value. You will know what has sentimental value only by talking to your family. Don' t impose the rules; get agreement on the rules to pass things along by the will of those inheriting your possessions. You can assume that age and certain other parameters determine sentimental value. If you want something to remain in the family, make sure you get reasonable agreement with the family and find someone who will most likely succeed in keeping the item(s) in the family. Make those very important sentimental items part of your will, nothing more, unless you know of some conflict that must be resolved in advance through your declaration of will.


Sentimental value is established during your lifetime. If you have not told your family the history of your possessions, you have not established their value with them, and they will not likely remain in the family.


This is my personal perspective and opinion of value and effectiveness in keeping family heirlooms for future generations. Pieces of our lives are passed along and will be diluted from generation to generation.  Our heirs will assume the responsibility for passing along a heritage. Although nothing will last forever, hopefully memories and evidence of heredity will be retained in certain items for centuries. We must concentrate on a few of those items, and make sure they are included in our wills for safekeeping. Communicate your will in advance of your death. Get feedback whether positive or negative. We owe that to everyone in our collective families. Being charged with the safe keeping of family heirlooms is a large responsibility of ours, for our peers and future heritage. We must take care of them, for now and for the future. Sometimes a museum is the best choice, but most of the time, our children are tasked with their safe keeping for future generations. Agreements to care for certain things is important to at least some of our offspring. Heirlooms are not ours, but belong to the entire immediate family, extended family and/or sometimes even the community.


Estate Planning - to make it easier and quicker, you can choose to establish both an inheritance will and living will through standard forms and service providers available online in the internet. Family legal advisors are also personally available and useful to establish a sound strategy in estate planning. One thing I advise from personal experience is to make sure your will(s) are legally binding in the state in which you live. Dealing with a probate court in some counties of Texas is a big pain! If a will is not self-defining, you will likely be required to go to probate court, especially to resolve claims out of state. I have a provider in mind and will add to this later, as soon as I have results from that provider.

Amazing discovery in the jungle - Rainbow Toad

I am a free-lance photographer who appreciates great opportunities. It becomes extremely important sometimes to really know what you are doing, given the climate, light and opportunity. An amazing such opportunity was put on a silver platter recently to a photographer for National Geographic. This opportunity was from good planning and hard work, specifically engineered to find this amazing tropical creature, the Rainbow Toad, which was previously thought to be totally extinct. This is the first photograph ever taken of this creature, and it had to be right! I suggest you read this amazing story in the National Geographic website, link provided below.

The Rainbow Toad rediscovered

Trivia - Marriage in Texas

Do you know that it is illegal to marry a first cousin and that this law is just now being placed on the books? And do you know that it is now against the law to be married before the age of 16, even with parental consent? It was 14 years old. On the other hand, in an Asian country, National Geographic pointed out that a law has been passed to forbid marriage before the age of 18, but in one modern instance, a man took a wife of 6 years of age! ¹

I worked in Kazakhstan and learned of the practice of "taking" a wife. You like what you see, you forcibly take her to your home and declare her as your wife. Eventually in a few weeks, you and her go back to her parents and announce the consummated marriage. This is not practiced openly but still exists out in the countryside.

¹ Aid Netherlands - Looking Deeper into Child Marriage

100 Watts of change starts in 2012

Turn it on, turn it off. We will be turning off our 100 watt incandescent light bulbs next year. So many people continue to use regular inefficient light bulbs! You know the ones - the old fashioned incandescent round bulb that gets burned out all too quickly. These burn the juice without regard to efficiency and have done so for well over 100 years now. If one sums up all the wasted electrical energy due to the inefficiencies of that technology, it would certainly be a huge number.

In 2012, we go into the next phase of energy efficiency dictated by the USA government.  By 2015 we will be totally phased into the energy and security law of 2007. The incandescent light bulbs fail to meet the energy efficiency requirements as defined in this law.

Are we ready to abandon the standard 100 watt incandescent light bulb? It will be removed from stores' shelves on January 1st. The best alternative for a 100 watt bulb will be the fluorescent energy saving bulbs with an equivalent lumen output. However, there is a mad scrabble to provide another alternative - the LED technology version. Due to the heat output of this technology however, the maximum available to date has been 60 watts. The 100 watt version will be available later this year and will likely cost about $50. Are you ready for that? The LED technology equivalent  of a 100 watt bulb does not seem cost effective, but perhaps it will be by the time it is needed next year. It should use significantly less electrical power than the incandescent or the florescent technologies.

Resources
+ Energy and safety law of 2007 - full text of HR6 
+ Yahoo news - LED bulbs hit 100 watts as federal ban looms, May 16, 2011

Faces in the crowd Texans vs Giants 2010

I found a few faces that I just had to photograph at the New York and Houston game in October 2010 at Reliant Stadium. Clearly the fans enjoyed this game even though the Texans did not win it.

Pink Day at Reliant Stadium - Texans vs Giants 2010

We girls carry the banner

During Cancer month, the NFL supports the fight against Breast Cancer via Pink Day. The players, cheerleaders, and fans dress in pink. Of course the color pink has its issues with many guys, so I asked a number of ladies why guys do not like to wear pink.

I made them do it!

"I don't know but can tell you this, I made everyone in our party wear pink!" Yeah, this is truly a trend in a color gender nation. Blue = manliness, pink = girlishness.

Support by women but where are the men?

"Tell you what, you ask him!" ... "No, not me. You are not going to get me to wear pink!" So goes the trend, but it is certainly not a 100% sentiment.

Texan Cheerleaders

I did not find any guy not appreciating the pink the cheerleaders wore. Our eyes were filled with pink all afternoon long. Not a single complaint. Us guys don't dislike the color; we just refer other colors to wear, especially at a macho football game.

Texas Anthem party - plenty of pink

And those supporting the effort to fight breast cancer were out in force. Pink meant support and pink ribbons were given out at the entrance. But looking at the stands, there were not many pink shirts.

Fan in war paint - no pink here!

Instead of pink, the cry was to come to battle by many. This is serious stuff after all! Would you wear pink to war? I don't think so!

Players Uniforms

Notice one shoe pink and the other white. Were these the warriors in the stands? Nope - these were the warriors on the field!

Guy or girl?

I think you got that right! What red blooded American man would wear pink socks for everyone to see anyway?

Cheerleaders showing off their uniforms

What can I say! They were in front of us the entire game. All guys seemed to agree that they support the cancer research by watching these ladies and getting "pinked out".

Little girls in pink

But I have nothing to share that shows little boys in pink. They were wearing Texan jerseys. One lady answered my question this way, "My husband is really hot in pink. I love the way he struts with his button-up shirt on. He has only one pink shirt, but it is at the cleaners." I figured this to be a little white lie so I found her husband who said he would have wore it except it was dirty.  Hey I found one guy who likes to wear pink! (well now and then anyway).

Another lady responded to the question - my husband refuses to wear pink. Just not a manly color. Do you realize we are the only nation in the world with colors that are associated with genders? "Hmmm ... I'll look that up", I responded. I did and found her statement to be questionable. The story of pink and blue did not really become cast into concrete until the 1950's.¹ That does not change anything though. Face it, the women say it takes a real man to wear pink and the men say they just prefer to wear the colors of the team. Cop-out?

Just another great American fetish in life. Yes, my grand-daughter's room is going to be pink!

And what did I do? I was bullied into not wearing my pink shirt by my friend.  I did find a bargain Texan pink cap and wore it the entire game, over my red UofH cap. Now that is a compromise!

¹ Color Lovers

Does change in tailgating rules change Texans fans? Texans vs Giants 2010

Early view of Yellow parking lot where tailgaters camp

Yes, one week ago, the Texans announced a change that drove down the attendance at the tailgating parties. When questioning fans, there was a mixed reaction. A new term has been introduced to tailgating - "Pedestrian Tailgaters". These are people who do not go to the game but do attend the tailgate parties. They typically watch the game via satellite or the local TV stations who broadcast one of the Texan games. They arrive somewhere around 8-9 AM. This photo was taken at 8:30AM.

Concrete section for tailgaters and parking

Comparing the Dallas game, tailgating was boring this week. Was that because of the rule or the opponent? Probably both. I asked one group who was parked without any neighbors, "sure seems lonely to me". Their response - the new rule!

Before the Dallas game it was customary for a season ticket holder to bring anyone they wanted. After all, they paid for the parking spot and their friends could come out to enjoy the game with them. The attendants told us about the fights and we read some in the newspaper but never saw one. We tailgated for the Dallas game in the same parking lot. It was almost full when we arrived at about 9AM for the Dallas game. On this Sunday, for the New York Giants, it was virtually empty at the same time of day. The parking lot energy was almost gone. I expected to hear echoes at any time, like when a house has no furniture in it.

Police presence to make sure there were no fights this week

The process to obtain Pedestrian Tailgate tickets was to get them purchased via those who have season tickets for $10 each.  When the game started, the parking attendants would check tickets for those still on the lot. There was an uncertainty how this would work out, so I believe many people abandoned tailgating this week and some perhaps forever. Slowly, they might come back to tailgating if they perceive the energy has resumed in the parking lots. In the meantime, there will be lonely tailgaters on the grass and pavement.

The shock waves of management's announcement was generally mixed. Some people thought it would be good for tailgating and spectators and was sorely needed. Others who were more adventurous and fun loving thought it would have a negative impact. Bottom line is that before the Dallas game, the Texans had the best tailgating in the country in number and quality; now that reputation is on the line. Fans were not as enthusiastic in the stadium as prior games. Do you wonder as I do if it was the unexciting opponent or was it the less excited fans coming off the tailgating parking lots? In the remaining few home games, we will see what unfolds. I clearly felt the difference in and outside of the stadium.