Vinyl Gloves - Extra Large

Have you ever had an "extra large" moment? A few weeks ago, I walked into my family doctor's office to get the ole annual checkup. I got through this one just fine, so I first thought. By this old age, I have had plenty of practice being checked out! The difference this time is that the doctor had something to say. He said, 'well buddy, I am going to send you to a Urologist. You have an enlarged prostate, nothing very serious, just need to get it checked out." "Well doc", I responded, just like any other God fearing adult male, "why do I need to go if there is nothing to worry about?" "Cause of your family history and your age and you just need to go." ... "ok then, whatever the doc thinks is appropriate to do."

In comes Indian Springs Guy to the Urologist! This is a first. I had to learn how to spell and pronounce that and then go for my visit. OK, I am placed into a small room like other doctors provide. I look around the inspection office. Two pair of vinyl glove boxes! Over the years I have grown accustomed to understanding what those things are used for. Then I notice in smaller letters - "EXTRA LARGE"!!

Oh no!!! My mind is going nuts. I hate these inspections! A truck might as well run over me. But "extra large"?!#%@$ After the inspection, the doc explains to me that indeed I have a problem of some sort although it probably is not serious. "OK, doc, if it is probably not serious, I think I am done with this." (thinking that maybe an inspection with extra large gloves will be a one time occurrence in my life). Doc responds, "you need to have a few more things done. You are not through yet" This is getting to sound like EXTRA LARGE in every way. "But doc ..." "But nothing... you need to have more tests. Tell you what, we will treat your PSA level with antibiotics first, then take a look at the issue again afterward. Sometimes this is caused by an infection." I could tell he did not really believe that. His eyes had vinyl gloves written all over them. Honestly, I saw an "Extra Large" reflection in them!

Today was "afterward" day. Here I was at the Urologist office again (see, I did learn to spell that). I review things in his office again, since once again I am waiting for him. I am reminded of his gloves as I see the same two boxes. I think to myself, here we go again. Extra Large! Please just don't do that again, realizing that the meaning of "extra large" may be totally different today. I get blood drawn - no problem, anything but the gloves. Then the doctor comes in. I grimace. He says, "have I explained to you the biopsy process?" Nope, not to me. He hands me a brochure and explains it. He makes out that there is nothing to it. Then no vinyl gloves today - whoopee! "We will get the results of the tests today in about a week. Then I will be able to advise you if you need to have the biopsy. We have to drop your PSA level 2.5 points for you to get out of this." I thought "but if I had known that earlier, I would not have run, or done anything else to aggravate the issue. I want as many percentage points as I can get."

Oh well. Now I know what the "Extra Large" really means and I am cringing on the thought of a next step at this very minute. So do you have your vinyl glove moments? I wish I could get out of this one.